Happy New Year Everyone!!

Well!! All I can say is what a year this has been!! This year has literally been a rollercoaster and I will be very happy to get off! Last New Year I decided to sit down and write a list of New Year's Resolutions. After looking back at my list, I haven't done everything that I wanted to do but I can cross off at least half of them and I am still working on some of them. I do know that if I hadn't made that list, then I would probably not have achieved any of the things I wanted to achieve this year and so I am so incredibly happy that I did it and I will do it again this next year coming. Tomorrow afternoon (after I have recovered from New Year!!) I will sit down and write my list for next year, including the things that I am still working on.

By far the biggest goal that I set for myself this year was to lose 60kg (132lbs). A massive number I know, but I had almost double that amount to lose to reach my ultimate goal weight and I didn't want to take more than 2 years to do it. I am already 36 years old and I really haven't lived my life the way that I want to thus far. I want to really start living and I have already wasted so much of my life. I also knew that if I didn't see good results regularly, then I would most probably lose the motivation to keep going.

So........I had my final weigh in for the year this morning and I broke the 110kg (242.5lb) barrier. I am now under that and I haven't been under that for a very very long time. As of this morning I have lost a total of 61.5kg (135.5lbs) and this year alone I lost 51kg (112.5lbs) of that total. I didn't make my goal for the year but I am absolutely ecstatic that I made the 50kg (110 lbs)for the year. I really don't think that I would have done half as well if I hadn't set my sights so high. I know everyone is different and it might do some people's heads in to have such a big goal to achieve, but I found for me that it gave me that extra push to keep going and work extra hard to try and get there. I still have a long way to go but I am now half way and I am so incredibly proud of myself. I have to admit that when I walked out of my weigh in this morning I cried, I was sooooo happy!!

I have worked so incredibly hard this year and I even postponed my Christmas dinner because I was still 13kg (28.5lbs) away from my goal. I knew that I wouldn't make it but I wanted to get as close as possible and I think 9kg (20lbs) off isn't bad considering the year that I have had and the number of setbacks I have had that have affected my efforts. So for the next 9 days at least I am having a very well earned break. My body and my mind definitely need it and from Monday week I will be ready to start working towards my final goal weight by the end of next year.

I am going to post some pictures of my progress if I can figure out how to do that lol!! I can definitely say that I have always hated pictures of any kind and when you see the beginning ones you will understand why. I had to be forced to have my picture taken before but I can definitely say now that I am starting to volunteer for pictures because I am starting to like the way that I look in them. That in itself is amazing to me!! My beginning photo is from January this year and I had already lost 10kg (22lbs) the year before, so I wasn't even at my biggest in that photo if you can believe that!! Hopefully the photos will inspire other people reading this.

Losing weight, no matter how much you have to lose, is such a hard thing to do. I have learnt a lot over the last year and it is not that I haven't tried to do this before. I have tried and failed so many times in the past and I guess I just wasn't ready to do it subconsiously. No matter what anyone says, the biggest hurdle that we have to get over is our mind. Your head has to be in the right place, otherwise no matter how hard we try, we won't be able to achieve what we want to. Only we can do it. Nobody else can do it for us. People can try to encourage us, but at the end of the day, we need to find the strength within ourselves to do this. And don't think that I haven't had days where I didn't eat everything in sight, or when I couldn't make myself get up and exercise. There were plenty of those days. There were some weeks when I put on between 2 - 6kg (4.5 - 13lbs), because I fell well and truly off the wagon. But then I would tell myself that the most important thing was to pick myself back up and work that little bit harder to fix what I had done and keep going. We are all human and this is not an easy thing to do. It is ok to have a bad day, or 2 or 3 or to go away on a holiday for a week and enjoy ourselves. We just have to pick ourselves back up at some point and get stuck back into it. We are here to enjoy our lives, and there are times when we deserve to let our hair down. We just have to enjoy it and then get back to work to to speak. It will definitely be worth it in the end.

I hope you all have a fabulous New Year!! I know I will! I am going to definitely let my hair down and eat and drink and be merry. I am looking forward to saying goodbye to this year that except for my weight loss achievements has really been pretty crappy, and welcome in a New Year that I hope will be absolutely amazing and will end with me achieving my goal weight. I would be ecstatic if anyone else would join me next year. I have some friends (both workmates and personal friends) that are going to embark on their own journeys next year alongside me which I think is absolutely awesome and the more the merrier I reckon!! Hopefully we will all inspire and motivate each other.

If we don't aim for the stars, how are we ever going to get there?!!

Happy New Year everyone!!

Shari

The best of intentions!!

When you have such a big goal and you are so far behind, I have discovered that it really is not a very good idea to go on a week's holiday!! Of course, when I booked the holiday, I had no idea that I would be so far behind on my weight loss journey. And yes, I know that I have done really well and I am really happy with how far I have come, but I did set myself a goal for the year and I really really really would like to achieve it. I guess when I planned the holiday I thought that I would be a lot further along on my journey. Actually, I don't really think I thought about it at all. I booked the flights back in April and only because it was such a special deal and at that time November seemed so far away!! Anyway, all my supporters at work were worried because I was going on holiday and we all know that most of us don't worry about what we are eating when on holiday. I know I sure don't. I am on holiday and I don't get many of those, so I go on holiday from EVERYTHING!! Unfortunately though, that is definitely not what I need so close to my finish line! I did have the best of intentions. I took my food scales with me so that I could do exactly what I do at home with my dinners. The day we arrived I went to the shops and bought myself some shakes to have for lunch so that I was still able to eat properly while on the run. I bought Nutrigrain and skim milk for breakfast which is something that I have at home if I have none of my normal options available and I can fit it into my eating schedule without too much trouble. I assured all my people that I would be ok. That just because I was on holiday didn't mean that I was going to have a blowout.

I think I lasted the breakfast of the first morning after we got there! We visited a lot of people while we were away and everywhere we went they had prepared special meals for us and it just felt so rude to turn around and say, "I'm sorry, I can't have that." So, needless to say, I fell well and truly off the wagon while I was away. I exercised as much as I could. I went for a really good hour long walk for the two mornings that we were down the coast and went to Curves for 2 sessions while we were there. Other than that though, it was just the walking around that we did when we were sightseeing. I tried to make as much as I could into a workout, like running up the Opera House steps. My daughter was amazed to see me run up them - I have to say I was amazed at myself. Once upon a time I would have not even wanted to walk up them. I would have avoided it at all costs!

Anyway, I got home last Wednesday and hopped on the scales on Thursday morning to find that I have put on quite a bit of weight. I am embarrassed to say that it is over 10 lbs. There is some good news though. As of this morning I have lost all that I put on plus a little bit more, so hopefully I am well on my way to a good weigh in this week which is what I really need.

Officially as of my last weigh in a few weeks ago so far I have lost 48.1kg (106 lbs) and 37.6kg (82 lbs) this year. I have 22.4kg (49lbs) to go & I have 6 weeks left to do it. I know I have said it before, but now is definitely the time to pull out all the stops. I CAN do it and it is only 6 weeks. I can do that. So here goes!

It is really crazy here as I am sure it is for most everyone. I have so much going on & I am fast running out of time. I normally wouldn't have even taken the time out to post today, but I felt it important to own up to my transgressions and reaffirm my commitment to making my goal. I CAN do it!

I hope this finds you all well and reminds us that no matter how far we fall, we can always pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off & get stuck back into it!!

Shari

Getting down to the wire now!!

Hi all!!

Nobody has blogged lately so I thought I better put something up before everything gets really crazy, which I think is what is about to happen!! We are getting down to the wire now!! I have been doing my challenge for the past 4 weeks & while it does work, as I ended up losing 5.3kg (11.7lbs) over the 4 weeks, it wasn't what I needed to lose to get me to my goal at the end of the year. I guess my body doesn't work the way other people's bodies do & I just wasn't getting the results that some of the other people on the challenge were. That's ok though. I learnt some things along the way that I can use to get me to my goal & I still have time. I will do the challenge again next year to get my year kick started & then I will be happy to lose 1kg (2.2lbs) per week.

So tomorrow I will start back on my eating plan that I was doing before I started the challenge, which basically means that I eat 1200 calories per day. I know that I can make my goal if I stick to that religiously (no splurge days every weekend!!!) & keep up my exercise routine. It will be hard work, but I have 10 weeks to get to my goal & I really really really want to do it. I want to see that 100kg (220lbs)or less on the scales on New Year's Eve. Of course that will be before the festivities begin lol!!

To date since I began my current weight loss journey I have lost 46.3kg (102lbs) & so far this year I have lost 35.8kg (78.9lbs). That means I have 24.2kg (53.4lbs) left to go. I know that I can do it if I really really try. I just have to pull out all the stops & go for it. Easier said than done I know, but here goes!!

You might not hear from me for a while, as there are a lot of things coming up in the next couple of months, so I hope all is well with you all & that you are managing to achieve your own goals that you set for yourselves. Every little step gets us that little bit closer to what we want to achieve. We just have to keep plugging away little by little & we can't help but win in the end.

Shari

Finally!!

Well I finally made my 30kg(66lbs)!!! I am now at my half way point for my goal for the year but we are much more than half way through the year so I am behind. My running total is 41kg (90lbs) & 30.2kg (66.6lbs)this year, leaving 29.7kg (65.5lbs) to lose by 31/12/11. It will be hard but I am going to give it a really good go! I started a new eating regime today. I am doing a 90 day challenge which will take me right up until Christmas Eve & then watch out Christmas Day!!! The 90 day challenge is designed by a weight loss company called Food Patrol, which you can find at www.foodpatrol.com.au if you want to learn more about it. I saw it on Facebook last weekend - some of my family said that they were starting the 90 day challenge & I was wondering what they were talking about, so I went to the website. Some people have lost over 40kg (88lbs)in the 90 days & when interviewed said that they were able to eat more food than they normally would eat. I was very interested then!! Anyway, I thought what the heck? I need to pull out all stops now & so I bought the starter kit & read through the book the day that I got it. I was very excited by what I read & decided to start it today, so that gave me some time to go shopping & make sure that I was totally prepared to begin. And I will have definitely earned my Christmas that's for sure!!!

Anyway, fingers crossed that my body does what the book says it will do. I am so excited because I just had a lovely lunch & will be having a yummy yummy dinner & I get to eat lots of good healthy food which will be making my insides just as beautiful as what I am trying to make my outside!!

I will keep you posted most definitely!! I hope you are all faring well in this battle that we wage & must never ever give up on!

How many times?

How many times can a girl start over? 

I'd fallen off the wagon again.  Well, not all the way off.  It was dragging me by my heels this time. 
I've pulled myself back up again though.

I was doing OK on diet and exercise for a while.  Then we went on vacation.  I had made up my mind before we left to not worry too much about what I ate or how much exercise I was getting while I was there.  And it turned out well.  I ate what I wanted and enjoyed every  bite.  And we walked so much that I came home with no change on the scale.  And it made me happy!

When we returned we seemed to be at a dead run in the summer.  I had all these lofty ideas about riding my bike to get the kids from camp, or walking by the river a couple times a week to throw the boys in the water for a cool down.  None of that happened.  It seemed there wasn't ever time. 

Then I bought a jump rope and set goals to jump on the patio each night.  I did that for a while, but even that seemed to get pushed aside eventually.  While I was jumping I found a neat little 4 week challenge to try.  I needed no special equipment (other than a jump rope and a couple 5 pound weights, which I already have. Handy).  I was still sore from jumping rope when I started this.  One night of training and one night of rest.  The one night of rest turned into a few nights because I still couldn't move.  Then we started a home renovation project (new roof), which I helped on as much as I possibly could.  Every minute I was home I tried to help.  And it was hard work and I ended up sore and dirty and tired.  And I forgot all about exercising. 

The next weekend we drove 8 hours to a friends wedding.  And last weekend I can't recall what I did, but it wasn't constructive.

My diet has been iffy, but not terrible.  I'm holding steady.  I'm not gaining. 

Yesterday, I decided, once again, that I am tired of this.  I need a routine that involves ME and being healthy.  I want to look good naked.  I want that view to be MORE.   I want to be able to keep up.  So last night I started that 4 week challenge again.  Today is a day for rest.  And I know I should, because everyone says if you jump in with both feet you will become overwhelmed and quit earlier.  But I think I'll jump rope for 5 minutes anyway...  My muscles are telling me they got used yesterday and it's a good feeling. 

How many times?  As many as it takes. 

Bugger!!!!!

Well.....I didn't make my goal. I am not beating myself up though because I ALMOST made my goal. I have now lost a total of 39.9kg (88lbs)& 29.4kg (65lbs) this year. I let my hair down last night & have had a weekend of no diets. I earned myself a weekend off & now I feel ready to get back into it & strive for the next goal. I still have 30.6kg (67.5lbs) left to lose by New Year's Eve & I really do want to make that goal. Even if I don't make all the smaller goals I set for myself along the way, that is the most important one for me & I know that I can do it. Lots more hard work to come along the way though!!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know how I went & here's to getting back on the wagon. Take care & I hope to see less of each other next time!!

Shari

Getting there!!

I went to weigh in today & lost 2.1kg (4.6lbs). I have now lost 37.6kg (83lbs) total & 26.1kg (57.5lbs) this year. I have a big night out planned for the 10th September with my workmates as it is almost the end of the footy tipping season. I want to get to my half way mark for the year by then so I have 3.9kg (8.6lbs) to lose to make that goal. I CAN DO IT!!! It will be difficult but I know that I can. Time to pull out all stops though I think!!

I went to a baby shower today. There was lots of lovely, yummy, delicious food. There were cupcakes & party pies & cheerios & bikkies with dip & chippies & lots of other yummy goodies. All sitting on the table calling out to be eaten. I was asked a few times if I wanted something to eat & the hostess brought food around to all of us as you do at parties. I really don't know how, but I resisted every single time. I sat myself as physically far away from the food as I could get & sipped on my water. I still can't believe that I left that house without a single thing other than water passing my lips. And I was there for 3 hours!! I just figure that if I want to make my goal this year, then I have to make some sacrifices & I keep reminding myself that it is not forever. You can't be good all the time. You can't go through life not ever letting anything bad pass your lips. I don't believe that we have to do that in order to be healthy & I think that we deserve to have our indulgences in our life. I do know though, that if I want to make my goal, then for the short term, I need to not indulge & I am happy to do that knowing that one day, I will be able to & not feel guilty about it.

Anyway, just checking in with you all because I haven't posted in a while. I will let you know in a couple of weeks if I made my goal for our work do.

Until then, take care & I hope you are winning the battle!!

Jumping Rope

Cinderella,
dressed in yella,
went upstairs to kiss her fella.
Made a mistake and kissed a snake,
How many doctors did it take?
1...2...3...4...

I liked jumping rope when I was a kid.  I liked playing the games and jumping with my friends.  I never ever got good at the double rope, but I could join a single rope jump pretty easily.  My friends outgrew that before I did.  And I only had one sister, which is one kid too few for swinging a jump rope. 

And it's fantastic exercise.  When I was doing CrossFit bootcamp jumping rope was one of my favorite parts.  They really wanted me to be able to do a double swing and get the rope to pass my feet twice on each jump.  That is what held me up!  I can jump until I get tired without tripping.  But start adding tricks or extra ropes and I get hung up. 

I bought a jump rope yesterday.  I went to a sporting goods store on purpose, with the goal of bringing home a jump rope that doesn't kink.  Hubby broke it out when we got home.  He jumped for a while (getting hung up in the rope more than once).  Then he handed it to me.  I think his jaw hit the floor.  I was wearing Birkenstocks and still could jump without getting tangled up.  Until I was out of breath.

I came across a workout challenge the other day.  It consists of exercises that I can do at home with the equipment that I already have (mostly my own self!).  It has jumping rope as one of the challenges on day 3 or 4.  I had planned to start the "program" this morning, but sleep challenges held that up a little.  I'll try again tonight.  I'm excited about it.  But I think that mostly, I'm excited to jump rope! 

I have a lofty goal this week.  If I'm going to meet it, I've GOT to get on the exercise bandwagon and not just count on my new diet.  I can do it!

Did it!

I broke that round number barrier.  The second number is lower!!!

A nice round number

I am hovering at a nice round number.  It's the same round number that I've seen before.  Last week I thought I'd be able to get below this small little plateau and be in a new number set. 

That is motivating.

Each 10 pound increment is motivating to me.  I like to see the second number on the scale decrease.  I'm getting past looking at the third number and focusing on the second.  Each time I am able to make that number decrease is a feather in my cap. 

I've lost almost 5 pounds since I've been home from vacation.  Sadly it's only because I've focused on my diet and has nothing at all to do with the increased moving I promised myself I'd do.  If I could do them both I'd see those second numbers change more quickly.  But the last 5 days or so I've been stuck with the same numbers.  The second number hasn't changed yet and the third keeps bouncing around. 

I want to see some change this week.  That second number will change before week end.  I've got new motivation on.  And the "round" number will no longer taunt me.  See you next week.

Photos

I've never shied away from having my picture taken.  I have always thought it was foolish to avoid it. 

I've been looking at my vacation pictures and I'm horrified!  I don't feel as fat as I look. 

This weekend I stepped it up a bit.  I drank a ton of water and I ate reasonable meals.  I even took a couple of walks.

I can't go on like this.  I'm now afraid to show up on film as well....

Checking in.

I’m checking in. But I haven’t been working very hard. Shari’s progress and enthusiasm is amazing and inspiring! I’ve read the last post at least 3 times. I’m *this close* to signing up for a race to run myself! But it’s too scary and I’m still holding back. I wish I was as brave as Shari and could just DO IT. But it’s on my mind and I may be easily swayed...   I just got back from a fabulous vacation. I was very concerned about not being able to lose weight or at least be able to maintain while I was gone. So concerned that I decided not to weigh myself before I left. That will save the from the disappointment of seeing the scale increase when I got home right? I did weigh myself though. Only because I wanted to make sure that my luggage wasn’t overweight.   We ate 3 meals a day about half the time. Every single night was a wonderful German or Italian meal and I ate every bite on the plate and enjoyed every morsel with a glass or two (or four) of wine. Breakfast was always a wonderful German breakfast with cheese, meat, and bread. I always included fruit to cancel out the real, fresh, cream I put in my coffee each morning. We skipped lunch on many days. I think we only stopped for a real meal at lunch time about half the time. But we did stop for ice cold drinks, granitas (lemon or mint), or gelato to keep us cool (I only tasted the kids gelato on most days. I seriously only got one for myself ONE time).   We walked a lot. There were castles to climb to and cities to explore. Bridges to cross and small elevators to avoid (stairs instead). There was definitely a lot of walking. Each night we all went to bed simply exhausted! I weighed myself when we got home. I was very anxious about it. But I had a baseline and so I had to know the damage that I had done and where to start this week. I weighed exactly the same! The walking cancelled out the food. Just like it’s supposed to do. And several days later I weighed myself again and found that I was 2 pounds less.   And now I’ve been home a week and I’m afraid that I have lost the momentum! My excuse right now is jet lag. I’m sooo tired after work. More than usual for sure. I have washed all the clothes from the trip, but very few of them actually got put away! After dinner we all simply sit in front of the tv until we turn in early. We all get up early too, but who wants to get up at that hour when we already get up earlier than most people! So I’m saying now that I’m getting organized. I have lofty plans to schedule out the menu (I’ve said it before and I’ve never gone and done it), and to schedule in some hikes and bike rides. I simply can’t sit around and HOPE to get skinny anymore. So a plan is in order, and then maybe a cattle prod to set the plan in motion.

Getting back on track!!

Hi everyone

Well I'm back. I wasn't actually planning on going anywhere but unfortunately we had some very sad circumstances that led me to have to travel home unexpectedly in June for a few weeks. Due to this, I have ended up having a little over a month off my weight loss journey, but oh well, life happens sometimes & we just have to roll with the punches. Anyway, I am back now and started back on my eating plan on Tuesday & my exercise regime today.

I did put on a few kilos while I was away but I managed to get it off this week &
I went for a weigh in this morning & lost 1.6kg (3.5lbs), which now means that I have lost a total of 31.1kgs (68.5lbs)so far & 20.6kgs (45.4lbs) this year. I still have about 40kgs (88lbs) to go by the end of the year which is still achievable. Even though I had to take some time out I have worked out that I need to lose around 1.7kg (3.75lbs) per week to make my goal. I can do that. I can. I just have to really roll my sleeves up & dig in now. I am determined I am going to do it & I will!

Next July I am going to run the 10km in the Gold Coast Marathon. My sister ran it this year & I was going to walk until I found out that there was a 1.5hr time limit. I tried to train to walk 10km in the time they gave but I just wasn't fast enough. She was very disappointed, but I am determined that next year not only am I going to do it, but I am going to be running it. I can run now but definitely not 10km. It is a long way!! But by next July I should have dropped another 60kgs (130lbs) at least - a whole person even - & I will be able to run 10km. I might be dead at the end of it but I will do it!!

One good thing when I had to fly home - I didn't have to ask for a seat belt extender!! I asked my daughter to go & get one automatically & while I was waiting, I thought I would just try to do my belt up & it actually fit!! I couldn't believe it - I was sooooooo happy!! And next time I fly I might actually be able to breathe with it done up lol!! I didn't care that it almost cut my circulation off - I could do it up & that was such an awesome thing to be able to do & it has been such a long time since I could.

Anyway, that's it from me until next time. I hope you are all well & going great on your own journeys.

Shari

Nobody likes a quitter

I've already quit Curves.  I knew I would.  That is why I paid in full each month rather than the $10 cheaper version for people with more sticktoitiveness.  The skinny lady tried to talk me into paying the cheaper way.  But I knew that I wasn't going to do Curves for long.  I didn't know the reason though.  I thought I'd use it as a jumping off point to get back into a routine or a habit of working out.  That is what I had planned on.  But I got bored.  I dreaded going.  I didn't have fun.  I quit.  And I didn't get into any habit.  

(The skinny lady made a big deal about "calculating how much I owe them for quitting early", when I pointed out that I paid the full amount each month.  She huffed at me, but didn't have anything to say about that).

So now what?  I'm no closer to enjoying exercising than I was before.  But I have recently been reminded how much I like hiking in the woods and being outdoors.  Perhaps I can work that into a routine sometime.  If it ever stops raining here.  And my boys are both big enough to ride bikes with.  They can probably handle more distance than I can.  We live near some wonderful bike trails.  Maybe I can do that. 

One thing is certain.  If I want results, I have to do more than I'm doing now.  And if I'm going to have to do more, I have to figure out something I like. Sigh...

Still plugging away!

Hi everyone!!

Sorry I haven't blogged for a while - sometimes my life gets so crazy that I wonder how I even find the time to sleep and I think this year there is going to be a lot of that!! I have a lot to get accomplished this year - some stuff I want to do, some stuff I have to do, and some stuff is a bit of both. The weight loss thing this year is one of those things that I want to do and is also something that I have to do.

I have so much I want to do in my life and it just seems that I am held back so much by my weight. So many times I have wanted to do something & not done it because of my size. I know I shouldn't be that way but I am a very shy person at the best of times and even more so when I am overweight. The only real time I have come out of my shell was when I was a size 12 which seems oh so long ago & for such a brief time of my life!! Being "normal" gave me so much more confidence & I was so much more willing to participate in life. I find that being the size that I am, although people try to get me to, I find ways to avoid putting myself out there. I also want to have the time to enjoy a healthy & active life, be around for my kids & be able to do so much more with them. Even just something as simple as going on rides at theme parks with them. I am always the one volunteering to hold the bags - not because I want to, but because I don't FIT on the rides. I don't like to admit that to people because it is SO embarassing, but it is part of my world. It is something that I have to deal with everyday & most people don't even realise. Even situations as simple as going to a bbq can be uncomfortable & embarassing which is why so often I try to find ways to avoid attending. I don't like to sit on plastic outdoor chairs because I am so heavy that they can break & chairs with arms can be a problem too because most often they are not wide enough. Flying is fun too - I have to get my daughter to go and ask for a seat belt extender because the seat belt doesn't fit & I am too embarassed to do it myself. These are things that I haven't told anyone before because it is so humiliating. So I guess if people want to know why I want to & need to lose weight, then these are some of the biggest reasons. There are probably lots more but I think I have enough reason already lol!!

Anyway, I am still plugging away at it & the good news to tell after all the depressing stuff I just churned out is that I have had good weeks the last few weeks since I blogged & have now lost a total of 27.4kg (60.4lbs). My goal for this year is to get to 100kg (220lbs), which will mean I will have lost approx 60kg (132lbs). I won't be at my goal, but I will be over half way which will make it easier for me next year. So far this year I have lost 16.9kg (37.3lbs), so I am on my way to reaching my goal for the year. I am going to really ramp up my efforts for the next few weeks though, because I want to get to the the 30kg (66lbs) by the end of June if I can since that will be the halfway mark. That means I have 6 weeks to lose 13.1kg (28.9lbs). It will be hard & I may not make it but I am sure as heck going to try!!

I hope you are all still plugging away like me. It is not an easy thing to do & it takes an awful lot of hard work & determination, but as long as we just keep plugging away we will all get there in the end.

Good luck & I hope to talk to you all again soon!!

It worked!

Well, it worked. 

I didn't change much of anything last week.  I went to Curves a few times (not enough times).  I ate "frozen ugly's" for lunch (frozen instant meals) rather than fast food.  I ate my typical meals at dinner.  I tried to eat fruit for breakfast but it turns out that I'm allergic to mango's (that's new) so I just had coffee, like normal. 

I didn't drink anything with alcohol in it.  And I stepped up the water.  I drank A LOT of water. 

I was only 0.2 pounds short of loosing a whole 5 pounds last week.  5 POUNDS!  That's significant.  It will be interesting to see if that keeps up this week.  I plan to go to Curves or out for a walk in the SUNSHINE more often this week, but not much else will change from last week. 

I hope I'm winning!

Do you know how MANY?

I don't think most people think about the number of calories in the alcohol they drink.  Or maybe they do and I'm the odd one out.  Until recently I didn't really consider it much.  But I'm considering it now.    When the WW program changed the points system I recalculated how many points were in my martini.  OK recalculated is the wrong word.  I calculated.   I was drinking 9 points worth of martini!  That's more points that I allotted for all of lunch or breakfast.  So you know what I did?  I quit counting it.  I earned that you know.  I worked hard, I counted points, I exercised (sometimes).  I deserved to sit with my husband and drink my martini, or glass of wine, or what have you.   Just because I quit counting those points didn't stop me from consuming them!

April was a WILD month.  My birthday is in April and I typically celebrate in one way or another for a least a week.  It doesn't have to include liquor, but this year it did!  Even after birthday celebrations, it seemed we made a reason to have a party and people around every weekend.  There was a lot of drinking done in April.  And you know what?  It shows.  I gained weight. 

So during May, I'm taking the month off.  No beer, wine, or liquor.  It's not the only change I'm making this month, but I'll bet it has the biggest impact on my waist.  And if I find it difficult to get through 1 month without booze, I think I may have to consider making it longer than 31 days.  I think the hardest part will simply be changing the routine though.  I don't need the booze, just the "hand to mouth" that it provides. 

The other thing is that I have been challenged.  A friend and neighbor has issued a weight loss challenge to me.  We set up some rules to follow and I'm going to work hard to beat her at this.  There is a big goal and several mini's in this challenge.  And I intend to WIN them all. 
May is going to get interesting!

I survived Easter!!

Hi everyone!!

It has taken me a couple of weeks to get here but I am finally here!! Actually, I was unofficially there last week, but due to WW being unexpectedly and disappointingly closed last Thursday due to Easter, it wasn't official until tonight. I have finally made my 20kg!! (approx 44 lbs) In fact, since I couldn't officially weigh in last week, I have actually surpassed the 20kg mark and have now lost 23.4kg (51.5 lbs). Woohoo!! Next week hopefully I will make the 25kg - that would be wonderful. I am having a couple of treats tonight and then back into it again tomorrow. I still had treats at Easter too, which made it even more fantastic to see that whopping 5kg come off at the scales tonight. I figure 5kg (11 lbs)is pretty bloody awesome over two weeks, especially given that one week was Easter. I told myself I could enjoy Friday night (because my Mum flew into town and I love her cooking!!), Easter Saturday and most definitely Easter Sunday. I didn't go crazy, but I did have my fair share of chocolate and hot cross buns and other yummy stuff so I don't feel like I missed out on anything. Then Monday came and I went back into weight loss mode. I am so happy that I still managed to lose - I really would have been happy to just not put on this week lol!!

Anyway, it is definitely time to be off to bed, so I will say goodnight. I hope you all had a fantastic Easter and that you are refreshed and ready to get back into it. I know I am and every step I take these days seems lighter and lighter.

See you all next week and hang in there - WE WILL ALL GET THERE IN THE END!!

Shari

Reasons

I tried to keep Shari's post on top as long as I could.  Her achievement is so fantastic and worthy of celebration! 
But it's time to post something new.  (even though I was hoping Shari would post the next new item. Tee hee)

Recently I was down in the dumps because I hadn't lost weight that week and someone asked my why it's so important to me to lose.  And I actually had to stop and think.  I have never had a good body image.  Even when I should have.  When I was a senior in high school I was probably underweight.  I was busy.  I rarely ate lunch, I had a sensible breakfast, maybe an afternoon snack.  I had an after school job, and an active boyfriend who took me running once in a while.  I ate dinner with my family most evenings.  I was skinny.  I look at some of those pictures and think I may have been a little too skinny.  And I thought I was FAT.  

I know the right reasons to lose the weight.  I will live longer.  I will be healthier.  I'll be able to keep up with my kids.  I'll not have to catch my breath when I'm running up the stairs.    From past experience, I don't think I'll ever be happy with how I look.  Though now I imagine, I'll be pleased if I don't see rolls.  "Where you stand all depends on where you sit". 

So what is the reason?  I guess I'm not sure.  Even when I was skinny, I thought I was fat.  Now that I have room for improvement, I'm happier with the person that I am, even if I'm not happy with the way that I look.  So I'll go along with the "right" reasons to lose weight.  Even if the selfish reason is the one I want... To look good naked.  I want a certain someone to drool when he sees me.... Best reason ever (or best reason of the day, whichever)!  And my newest motivation. 

Here we go again!!!

OMG!!!

Oh my gosh!! Oh my golly gosh!! Oh my golly golly golly gosh!!! Today I achieved a goal that I didn't even realise I had and I was so happy I cried!! First of all, sorry I haven't blogged for a while. I did actually write a post last week but for some reason the connection was interrupted and then after I had finished it wouldn't actually post. I thought I would very smartly cut and paste into a word document, sign out and in again and paste it back into the blog box, but for some reason it wouldn't let me. I guess it wasn't meant to be, so here's hoping that doesn't happen to me tonight. If you are reading this then I was obviously more successful than last time lol!!

Anyway, back to my news. As you know I go to Curves and at Curves we have a weigh and measure once a month. Today was my "weigh" and measure day. I say "weigh", because since I started my journey back in September 2009, I haven't actually been able to weigh at Curves or at home because we have the same kind of scales and I was too heavy. I would have my measure close to or on my weight watchers weigh in day and let them know the weight the next time I went to Curves. That is something that I haven't told a lot of people because it is so embarassing. I am not going to say the number the scale goes to though lol!! Way too humiliating!!

For the past month I have known that I was getting close to that number bit by bit and for the last couple of weeks even closer. It always seemed just that little bit out of reach. I know you shouldn't weigh yourself every day, and normally I don't and won't. That being said, for about the past week, I have been because I knew I was so close. I just wanted to see the very first day that I got a reading other than "ERROR"!!! I still can't believe that that day was today and I have to say that even while I am typing this - with a whole day gone, that I am once again crying happy tears. I didn't even realise that it would mean so much to me until I got there. Ok now - enough of the blubbering lol!! So - where were we? - oh yes - I hopped on the scales this morning after I had just gotten out of bed, gone to the toilet (because I needed every little bit of help I could get!!) and before even a sip of water had passed my lips. OMG!! I got a reading!! I was so ecstatic!! So then I thought, I wonder if I could get the same result at Curves for my "weigh" & measure? I wondered because for one, different scales can weigh slightly different and I was still very close to getting that "ERROR" reading on my own at home. So I raced off to get changed into my gym clothes and raced back to the scales (because my gym clothes are heavier than my pyjamas - duh!!!) to find to my amazement that although I was even closer to that "ERROR" reading, I still had a number on my scales, if I positioned myself just right lol!! I was so so happy but still not going to get my hopes up too high just in case the ones at Curves weighed heavier than mine. So, I decided I was going to have breakfast AFTER the gym this morning and off we went. I honestly have to say I have never before been so excited to go to the gym lol!!

When I got to Curves I ran in and straight into the toilet lol!! It takes me half an hour to 45 minutes to get to the gym and I wanted to make sure my bladder was empty!! I know I know - TMI - but I just want you to understand how much I wanted this and it really can make all the difference lol!! Then I ran out and up to the scales. I asked if it was ok for me to hop on without my shoes and the lady (Soozie) looked at me as if I had gone nuts. I don't think she realised what was going on at first. She set the scale for me and I hopped on and couldn't believe my eyes. I looked at her with the biggest smile on my face and she still didn't register. I told her to look at the scales and when she saw the number on there she grinned back at me, realisation finally dawning. She wrote down the weight on my file and I hopped off and she gave me a big hug and congratulated me. I told her I was so happy I was crying and she said, "I know - I am too!!" I'm sure everyone on the circuit thought we were nuts because we were hugging and laughing and crying lol!! Then my daughter came over to see what was going on and when I told her she was jumping up and down, and we were hugging, laughing and crying together too!! We were definitely getting some very strange looks lol!!

Even now - STILL CRYING!!!

I am so happy that I have achieved that goal - even though it was a goal that I didn't consciously set. It has given me that little bit more motivation to keep going as well as I have so far this week and to not give into temptation so that my weigh in at weight watchers will be extra good. I am really hoping to hit my 20kgs (44lbs) this week. I was at 18kg (39.7lbs) last weigh in, so it is a little bit of a stretch but still achievable as long as I keep going the way I have for the rest of the week.

Achieving this goal has also reaffirmed to me that all the hard work is definitely worth it. I still have a long way to go, but I am getting there and I WILL GET THERE. I am also determined that I am never going back - I am going to do this and I am going to keep the weight off this time, for the rest of my life.

I hope you are all achieving the goals that you set for yourself either consciously or unconsciously, or that my achievement inspires or motivates you to keep going to get there. I am so proud of myself and so motivated to keep going and I want others to feel that way too. Have a great week everyone and I will let you know how weigh in goes on Thursday!!

Shari

Now with more cottage cheese

I caught a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror at curves the other day.  I was wearing my grey capri yoga pants.  Grey makes the cottage cheese thighs look even cottage cheesier...    I just hadn't caught that particular view before.  I was jogging in place so the cheese was in motion.  I'll bet if I had been standing still it wouldn't have looked so bad.  Best to stick with black from now on.

Side note:  I wonder if I should have a full length mirror in my home.  I wouldn't have been caught off guard at the gym.  (I don't have a full length mirror simply because I haven't got one.  No other reason.  I don't avoid mirrors.)

Monday motivation

Well it's Monday again.  Time for another bout of short lived motivation. 

OK.  Maybe that is a little harsh.  But it does seem that the beginning of the year/month/week is when I get all worked up and ready to be motivated to change something.  I think the trouble occurs when I have time in front of the computer doing a mindless chore (aka work).  I get to thinking about how I should be doing things differently.  And what I need to change and how much I can lose if I just make these little changes.

Then I try to plan it and then fail to carry through with the plan.  Writing it down and making it happen are two different animals.  And good intentions aren't enough.

A while ago I blogged about making a weekly menu.  I haven't done that yet.  I have "permission" from my chef to do it, and he will cook what I've planned.  I just haven't made the time to carry it out.  Several times I have sat myself down to begin it.  It's a hard thing to do, it turns out.  But I still think it will help me a lot.  And so I'm going to try to renew that goal.  Does anyone have any tips for scheduling a weekly menu?  I don't do the cooking at my house, but I have a great support team when I ask for it.  I have to make a menu that Cap'n can do for me when he is home and I can manage when he isn't.  It has to have super quick and easy meals for 2 nights a week (one of those is currently sandwich night, and I think I'll keep that, because one son depends on it).  This week I'd like to get a system set up to plan and carry out a weekly menu. 

I have been going to Curves at least 3 times a week still.  It isn't open on Sunday (I'm pretty sure I wasn't going to make it that day anyway) and I stayed busy doing other things on Saturday (house was clean enough to have friends over for drinks!).  My goal this week is 4 days there.  It's boring, but I'm getting my heart rate up and I'm getting healthy.  I'm still aiming to beat my family to the top of the hill at Neuschweinstein.  That is what is driving me while I'm at the gym.  So I'm pushing myself. 

I'm also trying to work out a plan to walk/jog the same number of miles one of my kids runs at school in the spring.  Got some ideas there.  It'll get me outside in the fresh air at least!!

So Happy Monday!!  Hope this motivation can stick around. 

Give Blood!

I gave blood yesterday.  And they gave me permission to skip Curves.  So I did.  :)  I figured I gave a pint of blood and that was weight loss!  A pints a pound the world around. 

Giving blood is good for you.  Evidence shows that it may reduce your risk of heart disease.  But mostly it's good for someone else.  Your one donation may save up to three peoples lives.

I don't do enough volunteering.  I don't have a lot of time to donate.  And I don't trust many organizations to spend my money wisely, so I don't give it freely.  What I can do is donate blood.  I know that there is always a need for it.  It won't be wasted.

And they give me cookies and juice for doing it.  Win!! 

Please donate.  Lives are saved every single day by simple blood donation.  My dad is still here with us, because nine people donated blood.  NINE.  I can be one of those who helps. 

Did I ever tell you about the time I spent a week in prizon in Venezuela?

I have never been to Venezuela.

I weighed in today.  I'm down 2 pounds from last week.  Which is great!  But I had wished for more.  I guess wishing wasn't enough.  I have to get busy!

I have been to Curves every day that I've been home and it's been open, except one.  There seemed to be a lot of catch up to do on Saturday and I didn't make it there.  I was planning on doing Zumba on Saturday.  My Curves is closed on Sunday, which is a bummer, because I'd probably go just to get away from the kids.  So this Sunday, while my oldest was at a sleep over at his buddy's house, my youngest strapped on his roller blades and helmet and he and I went to walk/skate around Black Bay park.  Black Bay is a great little public park within walking distance of my house.  It has a rope swing to jump into the lagoon in the summer, rocks to climb on, cliffs to dive off, beach to swim from, paths to ride bikes on.  It's a little piece of nature in our back yard.  we were the only ones there on Sunday and did some exploring.  Z decided not to wear his blades next time.  He couldn't climb the rocks with them on.  But we both got in some good Sunday morning exercise and I think it could easily become habit.  I'm sure that he will be looking forward to going again. 

I tried Zumba at Curves last night.  It was fun.  It's basically aerobics and you throw in the Curves circuit every 60 seconds.  I just danced.  The circuit can wait till tomorrow, dancing without pause is more exercise for me anyway.  Unfortunately, my back is bothering me.  I considered skipping Zumba because of it but decided I could try to take it easy.  You can't take it easy doing Zumba and my back hurts even more today.  Serious stretching is in order throughout the day to ease it up again.  If I can get the kink worked out I'll be back there again tonight.  I won't be in town this weekend so I'll skip the gym again.  But I'll try to get in some good walks while I'm away. 

My cousin posted that she has recently weighed in with 60 pounds GONE!  That is so fantastic!  I'm very proud of her.  I find my self jealous that she made it look so easy!  Though I know that she must be working very hard for that kind of success.   A friend of the family has started working hard to lose weight as well and I hear she is doing fantastic, though I haven't seen her in a few months.  It give me motivation though.  While I'm happy for all these people that I love I'm competitive by nature and want to do as well or better.  I'd best be getting busy if that is the case though. 

Well, off to make my plan for the week!  It's a new idea (OK, it's old, but I'm refreshing it) to plan ahead and make some small goals.  I'm feeling the motivation...

Back at it again!

It was a busy week for me.  I was on my feet and walking all day, every day from Sunday through Wednesday.  By Wednesday afternoon, I was anxious to be sitting on a 5 hour flight.  No standing or walking required!  I didn't loose any weight while I was gone (there were wonderful after parties with booze and yummy appetizers), but I didn't gain any either.  I ate sensibly, even at the after parties, and I actually only went to dinner on one night.  And I shared that meal with my colleague so I didn't even eat it all!  And I didn't drink overly much either.  I think I had 2 glasses of wine at one of the parties and only 1 at each of the others.  And those calories were quickly burned when we walked to the next function.  I didn't drink enough water.  And I did it on purpose.  My feet we aching and the bathroom was literally 1/2 a mile from my booth.  I didn't want to go there any more often than necessary.  I paid for my lack of water with swollen feet and fingers, so I'm sure the system backfired, but I still couldn't make myself drink more. 

I have gone to Curves every day that I have been home, since the day I signed up.  I even brought my workout clothes today in case I can get out of work early and hit the gym before my quilt group meets up.  And I plan to go tomorrow morning as well.  There is a Zumba class at 11:30 tomorrow and I might have time to squeeze that in.  

I am more convinced than ever that I will not be able to stick with Curves forever.  I am getting a good workout and as long as I bounce a lot on the boards between the machines I can keep my heart rate up.  But I can see how I will get bored with the routine if I'm not careful.   I like how they put trivia questions and other word games in the center of the circle.  That does keep my brain engaged for the first round and I power through the second knowing I'm almost done.  I'm glad for the convenience of the gym as it is just around the corner from my house and I can just go in and jump into the circle whenever I can.  I don't have to be there at a certain time for a class, which is nice.  So here is hoping that I can keep it up for a while before I need something else to move onto.  I'm fickle, but I'm lazy.

Hope Shari is doing well this week!

I'm in for it now!

OK.  I broke the news to my Mom that I'm not going to continue WW.  I just need a break from it I think.  The program WORKS if you follow it.  But I haven't been and that is like throwing money out the window. 

I also signed up for Curves.  It looks like something I can do short term.  The ladies all looked like they were having a good time.  And they have added a Zumba class to the lineup.  I might try that once in a while.  The ladies I work with do Zumba and they LOVE it. 

I was disappointed to see the owner and therefore the lady giving me instruction was older than my mother and about as big around as a pencil.  I don't believe for a second that she looks the way she does only from Curves.  My guess is it is mainly genetics.  Someday, I might ask her what her starting weight was.  I think she weighs about 80 pounds now.

And she was more than a little condescending.  It could be that I am a little sensitive, but I felt like she was talking down to me the whole lesson.  This isn't my first time to set foot in a gym.  I've had a trainer before and used all sorts of the equipment in more than my share of gyms.  I do know proper technique and muscle mechanics.  I'm fat because I am lazy.  I guess that most of the women who go in there for the first time don't have that experience and the trainers have to treat everyone like they don't know a thing.   I was being sensitive.  At least I wasn't rude to her.

What I didn't like about Curves was the whole "setting a goal" bit.  You have to sit down with the employee and tell her your goals and let her measure you.  She asked what I *think* I weigh.  I told her 256 pounds.  (It was less that that on my last weigh in, but I weigh in the morning so it should be higher in the evening.).  She gave me a knowing smile and moved on.  Then it came to standing on the scale.  She said "let's see how close you were".  So I stepped on the scale and what do you know.  It said I weigh 256 pounds!  She was astounded.  "No one ever gets it exactly!" 

She asked if I felt any stress.  At that moment the only stress I felt was her asking the questions.  So my answer was "no more than the next person.  Mark 'No'."  She did and she said that she hasn't ever marked that before.  Then she ran down the list of health problems, all of which I said I didn't have.  She asked what medication I was taking.  I answered "none" and her eyes got wide.  "Not even for high blood pressure?".  What?  Just because I am fat doesn't mean I have high blood pressure!!  Again, the answer was "no".  She took my blood pressure.  118/78.  At this point her eyes were wide.  "That is nearly perfect!" (Which tells me that she doesn't know much about blood pressure. nearly?) 

She set my goals for me.  The only goal that I was willing to give her myself was that I want to make it to the top of the hill at Neuschweinstein without being too winded, in June.  She didn't understand that and was frustrated that I didn't tell her that I want to loose 100 pounds.  (the weight will come off as I get my heart in shape.  My heart is what I want to work on now.  I'm going to focus less on the weight and more on how friggin' winded I get at a brisk walk.)  So she set the goals for me.  Something like 30 inches in 6 months.  The inches are a sum of all the measurements, bust, waist, hips, arms, thighs, etc. 

She was frustrated in how I chose to pay my bill too.  I wouldn't let her commit me for a year.  If you sign up for the year you get a $10 monthly discount.  I'm not planning to stay there past 3 months.  I'm not planning to leave either.  But at this moment, I am using this as a jumping off point.  I just want to get started.  Maybe I'll do CrossFit again.  I think I'd like that. 

What I found out last night is that I am HEALTHY!  Even though I'm fat.  And not all fat women can say that.  I left feeling pretty good.  And a little sweaty.  I did get a little work out there.  But I think I can do better.  We will see how this goes. 

Have a great week!

What a difference a day makes.

A persons weight can fluctuate between 2 and 4 pounds every day.  If you step on the scale first thing in the morning you could see a number that is four whole pounds different than if you stepped on the same scale before bedtime, or at lunch, or after you go to the gym.

It's normal.  That is why trainers and diet coaches tell you to weigh in at the same time every week.  You have the best chance of seeing the true difference/progress.

That makes it hard to weigh in on a different day of the week.  The results can be disappointing if it wasn't what you expected. 

My advice is to not weigh to often.  It just causes anxiety.  And when you do have to weigh in at a different time, take in stride and accept it for what it is.  Different.  And keep up the good work!

Just when I thought I had it figured out!!

I am wondering if last week and the week before were flukes after all? I hope not!! I weighed in today. It was another day early since I weighed in on Wednesday last week. Circumstances have changed over the past week and I had to weigh in early because I have to do an unplanned trip to visit my grandmother who is not well. I am leaving very early Wednesday morning and coming back the following Friday morning, so I was going to miss my weekly weigh in and I didn't want to do that. I only lost 200g (0.44lbs). Very disappointing. I know it is still a loss but I worked so hard and once again it is way under my weekly target. Oh well! I will just have to try harder this week. I don't think it was necessarily that I did anything wrong because I tracked and kept within my points and exercised every day. I did try to eat sufficient protein each day, but some days I didn't keep track of that so maybe I didn't eat enough. It could also be different scales to a certain extent maybe, as I weighed in at a different meeting today. I really don't know why I had such a small loss, so I am going to put it out of my mind and just keep going and hopefully it will come out in the wash when I finally get back to my normal weekly meeting. Unfortunately that probably won't be for a couple of weeks, but I will still try to go once each week until I do. I am also hoping that going away for a week and a half and doing different exercise and eating different things may shake up my body and show a bigger loss next week. Here's hoping!!

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic week!!

Heading into March (and SPRING!)

I didn't go to weigh in this weekend.  And it wasn't because I feared the scale.  I did pretty well this week.  I didn't track (duh) but I ate reasonably and my home scale says that I was down a little (less than a pound), which I consider maintaining.  I almost never skip the weigh in meeting.  In my opinion, it does you more harm than good to skip, especially if you expect the week to be a poor one.  I'd rather OWN it, and know that I have to do something different.  We went to a hockey game on Friday night.  I drank beer and ate junk food, I climbed the stairs (without being out of breath) several times and had a great time.  But it was late when we got home and I really really really wanted to sleep in on Saturday morning. 

My problem lately, is that I haven't been doing anything different.  I am terrible at tracking.  And with the new points system I have to look everything up to know the points (I used to be able to remember the important ones), and as I've stated before, I am lazy.  I don't bother to look everything up.  I know I should.  But knowing and doing aren't the same thing.

We are going on a big adventure this summer.  In only a few months our family will be meeting my mother-in-law, and hubby's brother's family in Germany.  We will be spending time in Germany, Austria, and Italy.  It's a very exciting opportunity.  And I'm scared of it. 

I've been to Germany several times.  Hubby's brother lives there with his wife and children.  We went for the wedding over Christmas 1999 and spent New Years Eve, ringing in the new millennium in Berlin.  We drove all over the country.  One of our favorite stops was Neuschweinstein castle.  The fairy tale castle.  It is up on a hill and is quite a hike to get to the top.  My mother in law and I decided then (11 years ago) that neither of us was going to be so sadly out of shape and winded when we went there again.  She has stopped smoking and is definitely going to beat my fat ass to the top when we take the boys there this summer.  And I'm scared of the embarrassment of it, already. 

I am definitely in danger of being stuck at the bottom holding the coats.  I am dreading it already and know I need to make a change NOW in order to even make it to the top (never mind, beat her up there!).

A few months ago a friend talked me into doing Cross Fit Boot camp with her.  I found that I didn't hate it.  Which is saying something from me!  I made marked improvement from my first test on the first day, to the repeat test on the last day.  And I felt stronger.  I didn't loose any weight at all but I think I lost inches.  The gym is in the neighboring town.  And bootcamp was at 6:00 in the morning.  It worked out well if hubby was home to take the kids to school, but when he had to be out of town, and the kids had to be at the gym with me at 6:00am, grumpiness abounded.   After bootcamp was over we could attend any class at any time.  But I still held onto that excuse that they gym was all the way in one town, while my job was all the way over in another town the opposite direction from my house.   It was a lot of running around.  But it was doable.  Even if I didn't like it.

I have since found out that there is a Cross Fit in MY town.  The price is over the top, but the bootcamp hours are hours that my kids are all ready doing Aikido.  So I'm considering it.  I would REALLY like someone to come suffer with me.  But, that might embarrass me all the more.  Cross Fit would get me in shape and by the end of June, I'd probably be able to beat everyone up the mountain.  So I'm considering it.

I'm also considering joining Curves (instead of bootcamp).  There is one right around the corner from my house.  So all I have to do is make the time. 

No matter what I do in March (and I will make my choice today or tomorrow), I think WW might be something I don't continue with.  It's a great program and I know it works.  But I haven't been following it well and I'm not losing (I know it's all my own blame, I'm not trying to pass the buck).  I think I need a break from it.  Having leaders that don't click with me is just one less reason to stay.  I don't know yet.  But I think I may just have to count my own points and do my own thing and see if I can get back on track. 

This is a week to make some choices.

Last week wasn't a fluke!!

I am one very happy (not so) little vegemite!! I had to have an early weigh in this week and weighed in on Wednesday night instead of Thursday night. My friend couldn't make it this week so I decided to go back to my normal weekly meeting for this week and next because next week I have something on myself on the Thursday night. Even with an early weigh in I still managed to lose 1.2kg (2.64lbs)!!! I was a little bit disappointed that I didn't make my 1.3kg weekly target, but then I realised that I weighed in a day early so it is all good. In a couple of weeks I will get an extra day and I should pick it up then. So now I know that last week was not just a fluke - at least I hope it wasn't!!!. This week I made sure I drank my water every day, aimed for my 200g of protein every day, tracked every day and exercised every day. So this week I am going to keep plugging away at it and hopefully next week will be a little bit better.

I am giving myself a great big pat on the back for a job well done and I hope you are all having a great week too!!

Beter than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!

I was expecting to do really well this week.  In fact up until Wednesday I had lost all the weight I'd "gained" the previous week, and then some.  Then... I had a visitor come and we went out to dinner a couple of times.  We sat and did some catching up, over drinks.  I knew that I was loosing ground.  But it was worth it.  It really was.  I didn't pay much attention to my tracking towards the end of the week.  But I did go to weigh in on Saturday morning.  And I lost 1.2 pounds.  Not as well as I had hoped for at the beginning of the week, but better than could be expected after throwing everything out the window towards the end!  So I'm happy.  And I'm newly resolved to trying hard again this week.  I'm aiming to add exercise and do some catching up with Shari!!

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!!

Woohoo!!! Yippee!! I am awesome!! In fact, I am absolutely fabulously awesome!! I am not just patting myself on the back - I am giving myself a great big hearty slap on the back, high fiving myself and dancing a jig all at the same time!! Weigh in day today and as you can probably guess, I had a great loss. I finally, finally, finally had a decent loss which is much more in line with the amount of effort that I have been putting in. I lost 1.5kg (3.3lbs)!! It's about bloody time I reckon and all I can say is thank goodness, because I really was starting to wonder what the heck I was getting so wrong. I managed to pull it all together this week and it has made such a big difference. It is also that time of the month for me which makes it even better, because I usually don't lose much at all in that week. It even makes me think that if it hadn't been for that, I might have lost more. Not that I am being greedy. I am soooooo happy with my 1.5kg and if I can keep doing that each week, then I will slowly get back to where I need to be. Now I am only 1.9kg behind on where I should be by now, instead of 2.1kg. So this week, I am going to try to keep doing what I have been doing, and hopefully next week will be just as good.

So what did I do this week? First of all, I made sure that I tracked all week and kept within my points. I did use some of my 49 weekly points, but I still had 28 left at the end of the week and I didn't touch any of my exercise points, so that was an extra 96 points that I didn't eat. I made sure I drank at least 4.2 litres (142 fl oz) of water every day, because that is what I worked out I should be drinking based on my weight, amount of activity and allowing for some coming from what I eat. I also increased how much protein I was eating. I worked out that I should be eating at least 200g (0.44lbs), once again basing this on my weight and how much I exercise. I have to say that this has been one of the hardest things to do and it means I have to be much more organised with planning my meals. I have to have protein with every meal, including snacks, which is not something that I am used to. I have begun to have eggs for breakfast every day with either ham or bacon, I have had to add meat to my lunch and am eating tuna for at least one of my in between snacks, as well as having at least 3 glasses of milk every day. Believe it or not, even by doing this, I am most days struggling to get the full 200g of protein in! I am starting to feel like a big ball of protein lol!! Even though I am not getting the full 200g every day, I am still eating way more protein than I was and I guess that has made a difference. It seems so strange to have to each so much of the stuff that I would normally limit in my diet in order to lose weight, but I am liking the satisfaction that I get from each meal. I am feeling fuller for longer and that is always a good thing. So, the three things I am going to continue to work on for this week are tracking, water and protein. I am not going to say exercise, because I just make sure that I exercise every day now. I have done for three weeks now and am soooo proud of myself. No excuses - even if I can't make the gym, I can find 30 minutes for my exercise bike in front of the tv at night if I haven't had a chance to exercise before that. I don't like it, I don't enjoy it and I don't think I ever will, no matter what people say, but I have come to terms with the fact that I just have to do it. I have to. It's as simple as that.

So here's hoping that everyone else has a great week and let's keep plugging away - we will get there in the end, slowly but surely!!

PS - I had to go out to dinner on Saturday night and didn't want to blow my points allowance, so I did something I have never done before. I looked up where I was going on the internet and looked to see if they had their menu online, which they actually did. I planned my meals for the day, worked out how much protein I needed to eat for dinner, chose a 300g steak from the menu and tracked my points before I left for dinner. When I got home I checked what I had tracked as opposed to what was on my plate when I got it and adjusted where necessary. By doing this, I managed to have my cake and eat it too. I had a lovely meal out in a restaurant, I got to choose something that I really liked and still managed to stay within my points for the day. I also left before the birthday cake came out, which meant I didn't have to be tempted to have a piece. I could have if I'd wanted to - I had points there, but decided I didn't want to waste them on that when I had already had the treat of a restaurant meal. I was very happy with myself I must say lol!!

Please don't lecture me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again in the future.  And I'm saying it now.  I'm fat and I know it. 

I go to Weight Watchers meetings on Saturday mornings. 
I'm not great at tracking, but I'm getting better.  And I am getting the weight off. 
My husband is a fantastic cook and he is very supportive of me and my weight lose journey usually.  I love the food he cooks (face it, I love almost all food, but his is great!).

It's a slow process for me.  I find my self resisting it sometimes.  Mostly because I am lazy, sometimes because I simply can't resist another bite. 

What I DON'T want is for someone to tell me what I am doing wrong.  I'm not an idiot.  I know what I'm doing and not doing.   (Preface: We have a new batch of "leaders" at the WW meeting that we have been attending for over a year.  And I am not enjoying the meetings any more.  All of the ladies seem like nice people and great cheerleaders but they have not clicked with me or my mother as leaders that give me a reason to come back).  There is not one person I would like to weigh me anymore.  Not because the number is a secret, heck I blog it!  But because of this quote and others like it  "I can tell you didn't track this week".   That isn't a secret either.  I am not good at that (again, I'm getting better). 

But she was WRONG!  I did track, better than normal last week.  I also had my period and gained weight, just like I do every 4 weeks.  I don't like to see these "leaders" turning the pages in my weight log and pretending to look at how much I lost before.  If she was really looking she would have seen the f'n trend.  She only looked at the last few weeks and made an assumption.  I don't want them to ask me the question "why do you think you didn't lose?"   I just want to record my weight in their computer, put the sticker in my book, and listen to the meeting.  Don't try to coach me. 

I'm guessing this is all because they are new and trying to learn about their sheep.  I get that.  They are doing the job they were trained to do.  They are new to being leaders.  And they don't know what I want unless I tell them, right?  I find it hard to tell them to back off without sounding rude and I don't want to be rude to someone who is doing what they should be doing.  So I shut my lips tight and go sit down.  Which isn't helping either of us.  I go away angry and they learn nothing about what to say to me. 

We have had the new leaders for almost 2 months now.  And it isn't working out.  Unfortunately there are few choices for us.  We want to go together and there isn't a week night that works for both of us, so we are stuck with Saturday.  The meeting that we have been going to is on Saturday morning.  I think we will be trying a meeting at a different location on Saturday morning soon.  Maybe we will find a fit.  then again, maybe I'll just be pissy as they try to learn about me again. 

At least I know my hang up...  I haven't bitten their heads off yet. 

Discouraging? Yes. Discouraged? No.

When I go to my Weight Watchers meeting I never know how my weigh in is going to go.  I find that if I expect to gain, I've lost. If I expect to lose a lot, I have either gained or lost so little it should barely count.  So I don't go with any expectations.  Except that one week a month where I expect to gain.  No matter how well I've done during the previous week, I'll gain.  This was that week.  I went in and weighed anyway though.   I was expecting a 1 pound gain (from what my scale said at home).  And I was still surprised.  I gained all but 0.2 pounds of what I lost the week before!!!  Really??  That seems like a LOT.  Even for the gain week.  But that is what was recorded in my book.  +2.6.  It is a little discouraging.  No.  It's a lot discouraging.  But I'm not discouraged.  Because I did lots of things right last week.  Even with the Superbowl Sunday feast tacked on (which I accounted for) and the night out with friends (and lots of wine, but not enough). 

Today is Monday and I'm tracking this week.  It's now a personal challenge to track every day this week (I have to catch up the weekend tracking, but I did pretty well, all things considered). 

I stepped on the scale this morning and it showed me a number that was less than last weigh in day's number.  (I'd write it down, but I can't remember it exactly, so you'll just have to trust me today).  So my gain week is over and I have to loose all that I gained and then some to make my 10 pounds in 5 weeks lose that I was aiming for.  I know I can do it.  But it's going to be a challenge.

I have a buddy from Australia coming for a visit this week.  That is only going to add to the challenge.  Fortunately, I should have lots of Points left for Aaron's cooking and some drinks. 

Good luck this week everyone! 

And as I was told this weekend by the WW staff (a whole other blog post, ugh), you have to track to lose. 

Weigh In Day

Weigh in day today. I wasn't sure how I was going to do because I only just started the water thing on Monday and I was very naughty and missed a couple of days tracking early in the week so I gave up entirely. But I still lost. Only 300g (.66lbs), but at least I lost. I would like to say that I am not worried about it. I am and I'm not. I'm not because I think it is the water - I don't think my body has adjusted to it yet and it is still holding onto some of it, which hopefully should not be the case next week. But I am because now I am another 1kg behind on my weekly schedule. Oh well, hopefully one of these weeks I will do a huge number and it will catch me up. Right now I am not going to worry about it. What I am going to do is make sure that I keep tracking this week for one. I started again this morning because it is the start of the week and I will make sure I track all week long and I have bought a new set of scales just in case my old ones were out a bit. I am going to keep persevering with the water. From all reports it is going to be better for me, so I certainly hope that is the case because I feel like a big ball of water at the moment lol!! I am going to keep up the exercise. I am so proud of the fact that I have exercised for at least half an hour every single day for two weeks now. I think that is my best effort yet in the exercise stakes. The last thing I am going to do is try my best to eat as close to 200g of protein a day without going over my points. I am finding this difficult, but from what I have googled, that is the amount of protein that I should be eating in order to lose weight, factoring in my current weight and the amount of exercise that I do. I have switched my normal workday morning tea from crackers with vegemite to a tin of tuna, which is actually less points and a lot more protein, and I need to make sure that I have protein with every meal. It means that I will have to plan my meals a lot better. I already plan my nightly meal each week before I do the shopping, but I am going to have to start planning the other ones too. For this week I am not going to stress too much about that though, because I have enough to concentrate on already, but if I just keep it in mind then I will probably end up choosing something high in protein as opposed to not when I am choosing something to eat.

Anyway, here's hoping that next week is a better week and we all see less of each other at the end of it!!

It's Monday, time to start fresh.

Actually, since I weigh in on Saturday morning, that is when I start my Points week.  But this weekend was the SuperBowl, and I knew that I'd be using ALL of my daily points and ALL of my weekly points on Sunday.  I didn't track.  I didn't even try to keep count in my head.  I stopped eating with I was full and I drank a LOT of water.  When I stepped on the scale this morning it showed that I was up a bit, but not too much to handle.  So I'm  pleased. 

But I'm tracking this week.  Shari had such a good week of tracking last week that inspired me to work hard on it this week.  Sometimes I feel like I don't give this my ALL, and I always can do better.  This isn't going to be one of those weeks.  I'm going to do better.

And I had a great weigh in on Saturday.  I was certain that I'd maintain or gain a fraction of a pound.  But I didn't.  I lost 2.8 pounds (1.3kg).  I'm not going to complain about that.  But I do have some feelings of guilt.  I have little idea how I did that.  I did cut back on the martini's (9 pointsplus remember), and I tried really hard to stay away from snacks.  Other than that, the dinners I ate were not the most Points wise meals I could have chosen, but I didn't go back for seconds even once.   In short, I didn't work very hard last week and I lost weight.  Shari worked her tail off, and lost only a little.  Yeah, I have feelings of guilt.  But Shari, take note, I'll gain it back if I don't get off my tail and work hard.  

This morning, on my way to work, I stopped at the grocery store.  I bought SmartOnes lunches and breakfasts, and 5 different kinds of fruit.  The fruit is sitting here by my desk, in case I get snacky.  0 Points. I don't have to try very hard to count those points, WW has already done it for me.  :)  Baby steps, Krista, baby steps. 

Have a great week!  Keep it up!

Water water everywhere, how much should I drink?

One of the guys I work with fills up his nalgene water bottle several times a day.  I know this because the water cooler isn't very far from my office and when he comes over that is the only time I may see him all day.  I commented on his water drinkage once.  He told me that a person should drink half their body weight of water in ounces.  So at 257 pounds, I should be drinking 129 ounces of water a day!!

I was astounded.  I don't drink anywhere near that much water.  In fact, my co-worker may be the only person I know who does.  I know the whole "Eight 8-oz glasses a day" philosophy (I don't do that either).  So I decided to do a little research.  It turns out that he may be right. 

I found several places that said that half your body weight in ounces in the right amount.  But then, you have to add 8 ounces for every 20 minutes of exercise you do.  You can't just count on your 129 (or whatever number you come up with) ounces, you have to add more if you work out.  AND... if you are travelling, you should drink 8 more ounces for every hour you are stuck in an airplane.  That last one was probably tacked on by someone who sells water in the airports.  You can't bring it with you through security and then pay $20 for a bottle on the other side. 

My husband bought a new home scale two weeks ago.  Our old one was giving very weird readings and had become so unreliable that I wouldn't even stand on it anymore.  It told him he lost 20 pounds overnight one day.  He didn't....
The new scale is fancy.  It is digital, which the kids like.  Four different users can save their weight history on it.  And it looks like the spaceship enterprise.  (Not really, but it is very sleek).  Once it tells you how fat you are, I mean how much you weigh, it tells you your BMI and how many calories you should eat in a day to stay that weight (like anyone I know really needs that).  The information that I like the most is that it tells you what percent of water you are.  OK, I'm sure that is at least close to what it means.  The book says to aim for 50% to be healthy.  I continuously only track 30%. 

I know I don't drink enough water.  (unless you count the water in the martini's*, which I totally don't).  I guess that is one more of the things I need to be working on.  If you don't drink your water you won't loose the weight either. I like to think of it as "flushing" the fat.  Eating your PointsPlus target makes sure your body doesn't create more fat.  Exercise loosens it up.  And water flushes it out.  It's a nice visual to leave you with.  Ha!

*side note on martini's:  A martini with an olive is now 9 pointsplus.  NINE!!!  No friggin' wonder I'm not losing as fast as I'd like.  I spend all of my weekly points allowance (we used to call them "flex" points) on alcohol, and then some!!!  I've got to find a lower point drink.

I had an awesome week!!

I have to tell you the good news first. I had an absolutely awesome week. I had the best week I think I have ever had!! I stuck to my points like glue. I weighed everything to make sure that I was tracking the right portions sizes and boy did it open my eyes. I made sure I didn't eat all of my 49 weekly points - I had 18 left at the end of my last day for the week. And - and this is the big one - I exercised every single day (twice on Friday because I had my personal training session in the morning and didn't want to have to go out to Curves on Saturday and only had done two sessions so far so went to Curves on Friday arvo, plus I weeded the garden on Saturday and Sunday) and earnt myself a massive 106 exercise points of which I didn't eat a single one!! I was actually soooooo excited to be going to weigh in today. I was running around work all day telling all of the girls what a fantastic week I had had and that I had 124 points racked up that I hadn't eaten and that the result on the scale was going to be huge. I have been patting myself on the back for the past few days - soooooo proud of myself that I have stuck to it so well. I haven't even had my normal evening chocolate fix. I usually use some of my 49 points for a couple of little mini mars or snickers bars or something, because I absolutely adore chocolate. I have not had one single one all week. Not one. Nada. Nothing. None. Nil!!!!

I got to my meeting and almost ran up to the scales I was so excited. I didn't even bother to try and look at the display with bated breath to see if I had been good or not. I stood up so proud with the biggest smile on my face and my chin in the air and when the lady told me to hop off and I watched her writing down the number, I found that I had lost a massive 100g (0.22lbs). Not even half a pound. If I hadn't had people around me I would have burst into tears then and there. I can't believe that after everything I did this week, I didn't even lose my goal for the week. So now I am officially behind by 1.1kg (2.42lbs). So what do I do now? I have to admit the first thought that popped into my head is f#%k it! Why bother?! It doesn't work! I had to sit and wait for the meeting to start though and I was going over everything in my head. What the hell did I do wrong? There are a couple of things that it could be. I have a really old set of scales, and maybe they aren't weighing right? I really think that even if that was the case though, I still should have lost more than I did because I had so many points in bonus that even if my scales are out a bit, I would have had more than enough points to cover it. I am going to get a set of scales from somewhere else though and compare them to see just in case. Maybe I didn't eat enough of my points? Seriously though? I don't think that would be it - I was never really hungry or tired, so I figure I was eating enough, and I made sure I had my daily allowance at least, every day. The only other thing I can think of (and the group leader seems to think this is it) is that I put on muscle, which is quite possible considering I have been back at Curves now for a couple of weeks after a 4 week break. She told me not to beat myself up about it too much and that it would come out in the wash. Easy enough for her to say lol!! I know that I am most probably losing centremetres, but that doesn't help me reach my goal. My goal is 60kg and that is what I want to achieve by New Year's Eve. But I also don't want to stop going to Curves and just do cardio exercise because I want to tone as I go. I can't afford plastic surgery and if I just do cardio I will probably end up with heaps of saggy skin at the end of it. Not for me. So!! I just have to suck it up and get on with it. I am not going to go on a huge binge of everything that I have said no to in the past few weeks - although the thought did cross my mind lol!! I am also not going to stop my exercising or cut down on it. I need to do it and I really don't think that 30 mins to an hour every a day is too much. That is what people should be doing to lead healthy lives and that's what I want to do - lead a healthy life.

So here's to hoping that if I put the same hard work in this week, it will come out in the end and I will make up next week for what I didn't lose this week.

I hope everyone else's week is going ok and I will see less of you and hopefully me next week!!

Still drawing!

I lost 0.6 at my weigh in on Saturday.  It's a loss. I'm glad to be loosing.  But I was a bit disappointed in the number.  I thought I had done better than half a pound.  *sigh*.  So, I'm not exactly "back to the ol' drawing board", but I am still drawing.  If I keep up the behavior that caused a loss I will keep loosing.  If I can improve that behavior I should loose more. 

It's Tuesday already and I can't say that I have even kept up that behavior so far.  I was all set to be journaling starting on the weekend.  And I haven't written down 1 thing!  Nor have I made a menu for the week.  (Although I do have the chef on board.  He said he'd try it for the month of February and see where it gets us.  He thinks it is a good idea and has promised to cook as long as it doesn't turn into a set schedule: Chicken on Monday, Fish on Friday, Salad on Wednesday, etc.  We already try to make Tuesday and Thursday simple.  The kids have come to expect "sandwich night", though we don't do it all the time.  Those are the days when the evenings are packed with activities and the family is too busy to cook and eat a big meal.  After homework and chores, we have time to squeeze in dinner together and then the kids go to their martial arts classes.) 

But even if I fall off, I have learned that I can't just throw the whole week in the can.  I can get up again right now and start over.  Soooo....  my homework tonight is to put together the basic menu.  I'll do it while the kids are doing their own homework.  And I'll try to make a plan for journaling.  I think it will take planning ahead, so I'll start there.  Fingers crossed.  I have 4 full days before I weigh in again.  I'm shooting for a loss again this week!

Have a great week!!

Journaling

I'm old school.  You can tell I've been doing this awhile.  Tracking used to be called journaling.  I don't know why the word makes a difference to me, but it seems easier to say "journaling" than "tracking". 

Tracking is work.  It makes you stop and pay attention and think.  It is a job that you have to do to loose weight. 

Journaling is relaxing.  It makes you stop and pay attention and reflect.  It is a moment you take for yourself to ensure progress. 

Are they different?  Nope.  It's the same thing.  You wright down in your tracker/journal what you ate, how much it was worth, and how much you have left.  So does the word make a difference?  For me it kind of does.  Journaling sounds friendlier.  It could just be me.

No matter what I call it though, it is hard for me.  I have been on this roller coaster for what seems like forever, and it never gets easier for me to track.  The WW app on my cell phone is slow, so I tend to not use it much (when it was updated and I could use it at all, that is).  I loose the paper trackers immediately after I write down the first thing.  I'm good for one days worth of tracking on paper, maybe. 

So I think a new technique may be in order.  I hear a lot of the women in the meeting talk about how they planned their days points.  They write in the tracker in the morning or the night before.  Then they know how they will be spending their points all day.  It always seemed a little too structured for me.  After all, I don't cook and my chef (darling hubby) might come up with something wonderful for the evening meal.  How can I plan around that?

So, it comes down to making a weekly menu.  I think we have to do it.  I think I have to have him help me more.  So this weekend, I'm going to try to find time to sit down and plan a menu for the week (or two?).  I hope that will cut down on the shopping trips and list as well, and possibly save some money at the same time.  I have some fabulous WW cookbooks to pull recipes from (though I need to recalculate the PointsPlus).  Several of those books haven't even been used.