I tested for my Gold Belt in Aikido last night. I've known the test was coming for a few weeks. I have the skills but not necessarily the confidence to test well. I went to class with a really bad headache. I was concerned that was going to hamper me. I'd been trying to take care of the headache all day, more worried about it than I was the test.
What I was most concerned about on the test was using my skills on guys. I take the women's class most often. I am the tallest and strongest person in that class. The class is filled with girls who are between 11 and 15, with the exception of me and one lady who had her blue belt and is older than I am (I can pick her up and carry her under my arm though). I know that height and strength play little roll in the skills in Aikido. Xander, my youngest, is 70 pounds and four and a half feet tall and he can take me out when he does the techniques right. But I was very intimidated to use my skills on the ex-marine who is 350 pounds, or the 20 something brown belt who was supposed to be there, or the 6'5" tall lanky carpenter who I thought would be there. I worried for not a lot. It does feel different to work with those big guys, but I know the technique and it worked! Nathan got to be one of the testers. He is pretty good at that. He doesn't let anyone take him to the ground without doing the technique properly. There were three of us testing, the other girls are 11 and 12. I'm sure that Nathan was intimidating to them, and I know that he made them use their skills. He did it to me.
I never expected to get my gold belt. Frankly, I'd be happy to be a white belt for a long time. I am still doing Aikido to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. I'm very happy to know that I've improved and learned and the challenge is ongoing. The gold belt is a symbol of that to me. I'm very pleased. :)
