Please don't lecture me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again in the future.  And I'm saying it now.  I'm fat and I know it. 

I go to Weight Watchers meetings on Saturday mornings. 
I'm not great at tracking, but I'm getting better.  And I am getting the weight off. 
My husband is a fantastic cook and he is very supportive of me and my weight lose journey usually.  I love the food he cooks (face it, I love almost all food, but his is great!).

It's a slow process for me.  I find my self resisting it sometimes.  Mostly because I am lazy, sometimes because I simply can't resist another bite. 

What I DON'T want is for someone to tell me what I am doing wrong.  I'm not an idiot.  I know what I'm doing and not doing.   (Preface: We have a new batch of "leaders" at the WW meeting that we have been attending for over a year.  And I am not enjoying the meetings any more.  All of the ladies seem like nice people and great cheerleaders but they have not clicked with me or my mother as leaders that give me a reason to come back).  There is not one person I would like to weigh me anymore.  Not because the number is a secret, heck I blog it!  But because of this quote and others like it  "I can tell you didn't track this week".   That isn't a secret either.  I am not good at that (again, I'm getting better). 

But she was WRONG!  I did track, better than normal last week.  I also had my period and gained weight, just like I do every 4 weeks.  I don't like to see these "leaders" turning the pages in my weight log and pretending to look at how much I lost before.  If she was really looking she would have seen the f'n trend.  She only looked at the last few weeks and made an assumption.  I don't want them to ask me the question "why do you think you didn't lose?"   I just want to record my weight in their computer, put the sticker in my book, and listen to the meeting.  Don't try to coach me. 

I'm guessing this is all because they are new and trying to learn about their sheep.  I get that.  They are doing the job they were trained to do.  They are new to being leaders.  And they don't know what I want unless I tell them, right?  I find it hard to tell them to back off without sounding rude and I don't want to be rude to someone who is doing what they should be doing.  So I shut my lips tight and go sit down.  Which isn't helping either of us.  I go away angry and they learn nothing about what to say to me. 

We have had the new leaders for almost 2 months now.  And it isn't working out.  Unfortunately there are few choices for us.  We want to go together and there isn't a week night that works for both of us, so we are stuck with Saturday.  The meeting that we have been going to is on Saturday morning.  I think we will be trying a meeting at a different location on Saturday morning soon.  Maybe we will find a fit.  then again, maybe I'll just be pissy as they try to learn about me again. 

At least I know my hang up...  I haven't bitten their heads off yet.