Always Something.

There is always something.  There will always be something that has the potential to slow down progress or derail plans.

The last few months I've easily found that "something".  September and October was football season.  My youngest sons practice and game schedule did not meet up with my Crossfit schedule.  I actually let that derail me.  It was a set back.

But once that season was past I got back on track.  I'm in a regular schedule again.  It's been awesome.  Even in November, when I had signed up with Nanowrimo to be a Municipal Liaison and really commit to writing a novel.  I didn't let that become a time sink for me.  I made my priority -  myself.

Thanksgiving week didn't even derail me this year.  I may not have made it to the gym, but I did plot out a one mile and a two miles course through the neighborhood.  I set baseline times on each walk and logged a lot of steps.  Lots of room for improvement there.  And I learned which socks not to wear with my walking shoes.  So, you know, silver lining.

Now I have another wrench being thrown in the works.  For a brief 6 week time period, my oldest son has a schedule that will mess with my gym schedule.  But I think I've figured out that it's only a few days a week that it's a slight problem.  And it's only a slight problem.  So I go to the unloaded class instead of my normal Crossfit class.  I can also do some rowing, and some shoulder work, and the prescribed accessory work.  Maybe this is a good thing.  

One thing I am learning is that I need to be a little more flexible.  I'm made for living on a time table.  Perhaps I need to loosen up a bit.

Starting now.

Let's see how this goes!

I feel like I'm Starting Over

I feel like I'm starting over.  Partly because, well, I'm starting over.  I took some major steps backwards.  It's very frustrating.  I feel cheated.  I am unable to take a moment off from training or eating well, or I start slipping.  And it's a slippery slope.  I take time "off" from working out and gain a little weight. I gain weight, I get depressed.  I get depressed, I eat.  I eat, I gain weight and don't want to work out.

I quit the nutrition program when I couldn't justify the cost.  And when football season hit, I had trouble making time for the gym.  I wasn't eating well and wasn't exercising.  My shoulder was as painful as it had been all year.  I was worrying that I had a torn rotator cuff.

I'm unable to do overhead work at this time.  Though, now that I'm working with Mobility Mike, I'm getting my shoulder feeling better and over head work is getting easier.  I used to *love* OH squats.  But now I'm struggling with them.  I'm excited to get that back.   And I'm having trouble hanging from the bar.  I haven't been able to do pull ups yet, but right now I'm afraid that I can't do knee raises either.  I'm freaking out a little about that.

I've gained a bunch of weight.  I'm not back at my pre-crossfit weight. But I'm pretty unhappy with where I am.  And if I don't get some control of myself I'll be there soon.    I'm back to going to the gym regularly.  And I've got a plan to get a walk in 3-4 times per week.  I mapped out a 2 mile route and a one mile route and I've set a base line for both.  I'm anxious to improve my times.  I'm concerned about the changing weather and the likelihood of walking in bad weather.  But I've got a plan to get started anyway.

My hardest struggle is the kitchen.  I have got to change the way I eat again.  I've got to get back to what I was doing when I was on the nutrition program.  This weekend I made granola and I'm working on shopping list a meal plan.  I'm back to logging my food every day. And I'm struggling with feelings of unfairness.  So many people don't have to manage their eating this much.  But then I think back on all the people I knew in Weight Watchers who really did have to log their food.  And some had a much bigger struggle than I did.

I can do this.  Life isn't fair.  I have to fight for my health.  But I have positives that I don't have to fight for and other people might envy.  I hope so anyway!  

So I'm off to do my meal planning for the week.  It's Christmas time now.  My first Christmas party is this weekend and I'll be ready for it.  I'm bringing my own drink (no alcohol) and a big salad, and a plan.  I will win this battle.

What the heck?!

What the heck happened?!

I was going to Crossfit and had signed up for a nutrition program.  I was getting better at running and feeling great, other than my shoulder.

Then, I decided that I really can't afford to keep going to the nutrition thing.  I was seeing slow progress and spending a lot of money on it.  If I followed the plan that I was on, it should have been easy.  But I didn't stick with it.  I didn't have someone telling me to do it, so I didn't.

Then, football season hit.  I planned ahead and had a freezer full of crockpot meals ready to cook.  I organized a meal swap with other football moms.  I organized a car pool so I only had to drop off or pick up the boys and I was left with plenty of time to get to the gym.  But then, daylight became scarce and the coaches kept pushing the end of practice back and I didn't have enough time to get from the gym to the boys. The coaches got mad if parents were late because they had to sit with the boys, often in the rain this October, and definitely in the cold and dark.  So I cut back on the gym time and only went the nights that practice was scheduled to end later.  And then I cut gym time out all together, because I couldn't get there fast enough and we added a kid to the car pool.

At the same time, my should pain had increased.  I became concerned that I had very big problem and could no longer avoid going to the doctor to have it checked out.  All I could see was dollar sign eyeballs and I don't want to spend my money that way.  My coach asked one of the Crossfit members, who is a doctor (I didn't want to ask while she was off duty) if she would check me out.  She did a few movement tests and pinpointed the exact pain that I was having and reassured me that it wasn't a torn rotator cuff, but was likely a rotator impingement.  That is something that takes time to fix, but no surgery.

I have gained weight. A lot of it.  A stupid amount for the work that I'd put in over the last 3 years.  I've almost undone all that progress.  In 12 weeks.  My winter clothes don't fit.  Because all the bigger clothes that didn't fit me any more as I lost the inches were donated.  I don't have them anymore.  I didn't want to keep fail safe clothes.
I have lost progress.  I tried hanging from the bar in class (Yes, I'm back to regular Crossfit schedule, only every day is scary again), and I could barely do it.  My shoulder hurt and it was hard!
We did Crossfit Total this week, and while I did PR the back squat and the total, I couldn't budge any more than my previous 1RM press, and didn't even touch my 1RM deadlift.

I have a lot of work to do to get back to where I was even three months ago.  And I've already started it.  I'll try to keep everyone posted.