I've been waiting for Shari to post her Biggest Loser Spot here. But she has been busy travelling and such. This just means that we get two post in a row (I hope)
Last night I got back to Aikido. I missed last Wednesday because an appointment came up at the last minute. And Saturdays have been hit and miss this spring. Between conference travel, doctors appointments, and an opportunity to see a friend I don't get to see enough (she has cancer and I'm not sure how many more opportunities like that I'll get), I have missed more Saturday classes than I've hit. It had been 2 weeks since I'd been to Aikido and I had missed it! And it felt weird to miss it.
My kids are both in Aikido as well. One is in the class age group 7-12, and the other is in the adult class. I have only ventured into the adult class once. It's very intimidating to be grabbed by men. So I basically stick to the women's class. Being in the women's class was a big step for me in the first place. It was outside my comfort zone (I think I've said that before). But it can't be outside my comfort zone now, if I missed going.
Sensei asked me my goal when I started Aikido. And all I knew was that I wanted to be there and get comfortable. If I stayed a white belt forever I'd be happy as long as I got comfortable. Last night I watched a man who started after I did, and is in worse shape than me, test for his gold belt. And I was glued to my seat. I was coaching him in my head, silently telling him to "step in", "block", "take down". And I realized that I've got a new goal now. I want to get the gold belt. I know all the moves, though I think I need some more practice to be confident in front of other people. And I'm not going to get the practice only going to Aikido one night a week. It's time to step back out of the circle I call my comfort zone. I vowed to join the sparring class on Tuesday night. I'll be able to stay for the adult class on Wednesdays once in a while too. That circle keeps getting just a little bigger.
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